Sorry for the rant (rough week)

Monday and Tuesday: This past week has been one of the hardest in my life. It started off with work. I work at a part time minimum wage job in retail. In less than one year of working there I was promoted from sales associate to key holder. When closing the store usually there are 3 people closing: one at cash, one merchandising and backup cashier, and a third keyholder to do all the closing duties (count the cash registers and fill out the paperwork) and merchandise. At the beginning of the week for 2 days as I was working the closing shift there was only been me and another worker who is on cash. That left me to merchandise, front face the store, do returns, sweep the store, act as backup cashier, break the skids of product (usually 2 a day), help with customer assistance, do transaction voids, provide the cashier with change, put overstock away, and count the cash registers/do the paperwork. The reason I was given as to why there are now only 2 workers at night is because the billion-dollar company has cut back hours. I’m entitled to a 30-minute break but I don’t take it so that I can finish all the work. Not only has this been an issue but the garbage at work has piled up extensively due to the recycling contractors not collecting from the bins. It has been quite difficult to work around (creating safety and space issues) and it is no doubt something that I will have to put away (which I ended up having to do).

Thursday: On my one day off my work asked me to come in and because I have such high student debts, and didn’t have any pre-existing plans I excepted the shift.

Friday: My partner’s cat, Chester who was 14 years old has had kidney problems for awhile. About 2 weeks ago he had a seizure but appeared to be okay since. However, this week his condition got suddenly worse. In fact, the 2 days before he died he condition drastically deteriorated. He could barely make it up the stairs, he was spaced out, he would have multiple seizures a day, he would eat a lot but not gain weight, he couldn’t really jump up, and he was off balance. This was devastating to watch and then one morning it was just too much. He was suffering to much and we had to let him go. Everywhere I look in the house I expect to see him and he’s not there. He was such a fixture, such a joy, and now he’s no longer here.

Sunday: I get woken up with a phone call at 9:30am from my partner Brian who had left earlier that morning to go play recreational softball. He calls me in a panic telling me he got hit in the head by a ball, was seeing stars, and thought he had stroke. He couldn’t remember getting hit. I was devastated and panicked that I wasn’t there, that I didn’t know if he was okay or not or how serious it was. His friend brings him home to pick me up and I spend 3 hours with him in the emergency room. He gets checked out, his arms and knees are cut up and get bandaged up, he gets a CT scan which is clear but he has a concussion. I have been changing his dressings (cleaning his cuts, putting Polysporin on them, and bandaging them in gauze), making sure he is hydrated, getting him what he needs, and at night waking him up every 3 hours to ensure he is okay. I take the next day off work to take care of him and even the next day I take my only day off this week to ensure he is okay.

I am exhausted. I am spent. Emotionally. Physically. I’ve been broken and haven’t had a chance to be put back together. I miss my cat. I want nothing more than for my Brian to be okay and not to be in any more pain. I want nothing more than to stop feeling so sad. I need a break but can’t afford to take one.

#World